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An Amicable Split: How to Prepare for a Divorce


Are you and your partner going through a split? Are you lost and wondering how to prepare for a divorce? Our San Antonio divorce lawyers show you how to make it as smooth as possible.

Keyword(s): how to prepare for a divorce

If you and your spouse are getting a divorce, you’re not alone. Divorce is unfortunately common in the United States. In fact, almost forty-five percent of American marriages end in divorce.

But that doesn’t mean divorce needs to be a nasty experience. There are ways to keep things amicable for both parties.

Want to learn more about how to prepare for a divorce? Keep reading.

We’ll review what to do when getting a divorce and provide some amazing tips for keeping your divorce as peaceful as possible. This way, both parties can move on and start a new chapter of their lives.

Let’s get started.

Is An Amicable Divorce Really Possible?

The short answer is: yes. But first, you need to know what makes a divorce truly amicable. Let’s break it down.

We’ll start by defining a peaceful divorce. Out of the following list, which elements do you think are necessary to get through a divorce affably?

  • You and your spouse must be friendly and cordial
  • One person needs to compromise their needs in the divorce agreement
  • You and your spouse should avoid each other entirely
  • For the settlement to be fair, you must split everything fifty/fifty

The answer may surprise you. None of these elements are necessary to get through a divorce in peace.

Of course, if you and your spouse are cordial, it will make the process easier. But even if you’re not, you can still complete the divorce process successfully.

When Should You Hire a Lawyer?

A professional divorce lawyer will ensure that all your paperwork is correct and that you’re happy with your legal proceedings and settlement. Here are the parts of a divorce that a lawyer comes in especially handy for:

  • Alimony or Spousal maintenance
  • Domestic violence protection
  • Adoption
  • Custody
  • Child support
  • Temporary orders
  • Military personnel divorces
  • Informal or common law marriage divorces

And so much more. Even if you’re filing for an uncontested divorce, a lawyer can help you. They’ll make sure your finances are in order and help you fill out all the necessary paperwork.

Now that we know a little more about the ins and outs of divorce, let’s dive into our guide on how to prepare for your divorce.

How to Prepare for a Divorce: Getting Started

It’s important not to jump into the legal proceedings of a divorce right away. Complete some divorce planning first.

Start by getting organized. Take some time to think about how you’d like the negotiations to go, and what your ideal outcome would be for yourself and, if you have them, your children.

Next, get your financial records in order. Create a list of assets (with your spouse’s help if possible). Locate and make copies of your tax returns, proof of income like pay stubs and W-2s, loan statements, bank and credit card statements, insurance details, retirement savings accounts, and any other financial assets or documents you may need.

Take Control

Trying to figure out how to divorce peacefully can feel like a tall order. During the process, it’s tempting to give up and pretend like it’s not happening. You may want to dodge phone calls or ignore emails.

Instead of giving in to this temptation, take responsibility. It’s important to be active, not passive, in your divorce. Listen to the people who are trying to help you, but make sure you’re involved in the decision-making as well.

This is your divorce. And the last thing you want is to look back on the experience and wish you had taken more control of the situation.

Accept Support from Friends and Family

During a personal time such as a divorce, it can be easy to push away the support of your friends and family. You may not want to burden them with the stress of this ordeal.

But this is a mistake. During this time, more than ever, it’s important to accept the love and care of the people who are closest to you. Remember, you’re not alone.

Think of this tough experience as an opportunity to grow. Work on understanding your emotions and expressing them to your loved ones instead of repressing them.

Think About the Big Picture

The decisions you make during your divorce will change the rest of your life. And if you have children, these decisions will change their lives, too.

Instead of getting caught up in minor details or emotional warfare, keep your mind focused on the bigger picture. Remember, divorce isn’t about winning or losing. Your divorce is about trying to lay the foundation for your new life moving forward.

If you feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath and think about your future and the future of your children. Let that vision help keep you on track.

Rise Above

Preparing for a divorce will bring up lots of emotions. You may feel desperate, angry, sad, or betrayed. These feelings are a common but unfortunate side effect of two people parting ways.

If your spouse isn’t taking the high road, that doesn’t mean you can’t. Choose to rise above the pettiness and hostility. It will help your divorce go smoothly.

Of course, this is easier said than done. So here are some tips to help you get on the right track.

  • Never speak poorly about your spouse to your children
  • Resist the urge to vent about your divorce to anyone who will listen
  • Stay away from social media
  • If you can’t speak to your spouse peacefully, don’t force it
  • If your spouse does something to hurt you, resist the urge to retaliate

With these pointers, you’ll be able to rise above the messiness and stay sane during your divorce. If you need to release tension by talking things through, choose a close loved one or family member, say what you need to say, and move on. There is, of course, another benefit. Judges tend to reward parties who prove they can stay focused on what’s important instead of conflict. Whether you’re fighting over marital property or your children, people who prove they deserve responsibility often get it. What goes around comes around.

Don’t Give up Hope

It’s possible to have a divorce that is both amicable and successful. Just use the guide above to learn how to prepare for a divorce with your emotional health in mind.

For the best results, remember to accept support from your loved ones, to take control of the situation, and to take the high road. If you feel overwhelmed, keep the big picture in mind.

And if you want professional help with your divorce, it’s time to connect with a trustworthy divorce lawyer. Contact us anytime for more information.